She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
