Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
