so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
