Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
