singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
