i just wanna soil my oats bro
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
