how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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