Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
