**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
