there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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