I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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