You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
two words...techno handjob
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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