Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
