Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
