there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
