Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize