listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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