Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize