In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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