Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
