have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
