so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
