I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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