Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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