I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
