You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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