We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
