Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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