Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
