hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
