I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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