apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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