"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
