Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Randomize
