The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
