R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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