11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
