I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
