I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
