Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
