K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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