just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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