YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
