He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
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My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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