me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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