Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(424): View more from California

I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick

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(678): View more from Georgia

why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?

(770): View more from Georgia

I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.

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(404): View more from Georgia

What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?

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(937): View more from Ohio

i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats

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(620): View more from Kansas

Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid

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(813): View more from Florida

coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

sex on a bike is impossible

(1-414): View more from Wisconsin

challenge accepted

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