Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
