He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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