My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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