check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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