I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
a search helicopter?!
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
