We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
