I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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