see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
