it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
