Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Randomize