Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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