Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
