i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
