We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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