"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
