I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Randomize
