You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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