Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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