He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
whose parrot is this?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
