So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
